Alien Swarm

Ok so there is this one graphics engine out there called the source engine. it was developed by a company called Valve. they are a highly successful company cause they bought out the company gearbox after it released a popular game titled Half Life. Half life is a chemical term that im not going to get into cause its annoying to explain in letters.there was a mod made for this game half life. this mod was called alien swarm. about 10 years later valve decided they wanted more money. so they made half life 2. turns out they did a fucking heroic job on it and its heralded as the best game of all time. i personally think that is complete shit. but oh well im just one voice among millions. so the people who made the mod for the original half life game were like. we can top that. so they try making a version the game that runs on the source engine v2.0 cause version 1 is buggy and not many people like it. it took them 5 years. but they pulled it off. and the best part. the game doesn't need the original half life 2 game to play. its a stand alone. all you need is a steam account. which is free. its an amazing game. GO GET IT!!! or else ill shank a bed post with a plastic spoon!

cause i can

ok so i have second degree burns on my back. and the air conditioning in my house just died. and tomorrow is a day when its going to be in the 90s FUCK MY LIFE!!!! and my room is customized to keep heat in. (i re did all the insulation) i have a super retarded shorttemper as is cause of all the pain. the ac dieing was close to the last straw. i want to strangle random things. and there is nothing to strangle. damn. hm. this will be righted. some how someway. oai;shg;ioasdfhng'pzsdjg'apsdjohg IT HOT IN HERE!!. i even opend up the whole office room im in. (there are actualy 2 doors but it looks like there is just one)

New Layout

its 1:15 in the morning. i need to go to bed before i have a creative outburst.

I should just keep my mouth shut

Apparently im not being nice. apparently im being a dick. well... odds are im being a dick. but im trying to help. i help by opening your eyes. not closing them. if its little things like your lactose intolerant. yes ill give a shit and say don't eat milk based things. but if its breakdowns or extreme sadness. i will give a shit but i wont tell you its going to be nice and happy. im going to try and help you learn. you dont seem to want to learn. you don't internalize it. you just say HI!!! your not fun! Bye!. and thats it. you think its some huge process. its not. your letting your life where very little is wrong get to you. your grandma is on dialysis. shes old. she had a good run. let go. your dad had back surgery. OK. that's great. try living with a 60 year old diabetic mood swinging over achieving nosy prick. you were over the other day when my mom was making me review. imagine that every day for that past 8 years. my dog is going to die almost any day now. yes ill be super sad but i wont let it get in the way of my life. ill mourn for about a week or so. then move on. i have life to live, you do to. don't let things that really arnt that big of a deal get you down. you have a life to live. whether its with me or not. as long as your alive. Whenever i try and help it is never seen as help until at least years down the road or you are to fucked up in the head to see what im doing. so i dont expect you to like what im saying or to think "oh he might have a point" i lived through harder shit than you. i realise that your much more family oriented than me. you actualy have a family that just "talks" to you. one that realises that you arnt what they want you to be all the time. mine is constantly... i dont think its worth getting into that you were over the other day. i think you have a good idea. and the phone call just this morning. you remember how long i was standing outside just waiting for my mom to shut up about nothing. i cant have a normal conversation with my parents without it turning to school work. it just doesnt happen. seeing as how these are just words on a screen i dont think this will affect you to badly. seeing as how odds are you wont even read this for about another month. unless kiz or someone tells you about it. why cant you just live with things? wake up and say hello life i hate you. and then carry on with your day. just leave it at that. say it out loud if you need to. just all this sadness is getting in the way of your life. im gonna stop before i stay up the whole night.